


A is for Apples

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Centaurs, F/M, Food, Self-Indulgent, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26450077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Caleb's luck turns for the better when he finds a strange little orchard.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Kudos: 36





	A is for Apples

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap! I'm writing again! I've had this idea for months now and decided to finally write it.

Caleb was starving. But that was a normal state of being for him. He'd often found himself with nothing to eat. It was all part of the traveling life. Or rather the vagabond life. Rarely did he stay in one place for more than a couple of nights making a job or money hard things to come by.

His stomach groaned at him as he made his way through the woods. "Quiet. Complaining won't get us fed any quicker." Caleb found himself talking to himself more and more as the days went by. He'd played with the idea of finding a traveling companion, but he didn't want to doom any one to his fate. So he had to settle for talking to himself as a form of companionship. Not that he deserved anything like that.

The forest he traveled slowly shifted as he went through it from eternal evergreens to deciduous trees. Not that he was ever one for the identifying plants, but this could mean that he would have a chance of finding something more than pine needles to eat. And then he saw it. An apple tree. Its branches were heavy with round, fat fruit. Drool gathered in his mouth and Caleb found himself scrambling up the tree.

It was a good tree, perfect for climbing. Caleb scarfed down an apple before he looked around. There were more apple trees near it. For a moment, he'd thought that he'd stumbled upon an orchard, but the placement and care of the trees were too haphazard to have been planned out. It must've been a naturally occuring one, but Caleb couldn't help but notice how odd it all was. With all that fruit, one would think that more would be missing. If not taken by humans, surely by animals. Though, the low hanging branches were completely bare, so that stood to reason that someone or something was taking the apples.

That wasn't going to stop Caleb though. He loaded his coat pockets heavy with apples and when they were full, he held an apple in his mouth and one in each hand as he scurried down the tree. There was no telling when he'd find his next meal, so he was going to have to make these apples last. Caleb hurried out from amongst the trees when he heard something. Hiding behind a tree, he peeked out to see what was there and nearly dropped all three apples he was holding.

A centaur stood there amongst the trees. He had thought that such beings only existed in stories. She was blue both in skin and fur, though her hair was a much darker shade. Curling little horns poked out of her curly hair. The centaur hummed to herself as she ran her hands over the tree trunks. Pausing, she stopped at the tree Caleb had climbed just moments before. "Oh! We had a visitor!" she said as she picked up an apple core.

Caleb cursed silently his lack of care. He usually was careful to not leave any trace behind him.

The centaur looked around. "I guess they left already," she said her voice filled with disappointment. "I hope they had enough."

He stared at her. Typically, no one cared about him or how he fared. The centaur didn't even know who he was, Caleb said to himself. If she knew, she'd have chased him out herself.

She'd turned away and began to leave when Caleb accidentally bit through the apple in his mouth. It was as though time slowed down to molasses as he watched the apple fall and hit the ground with a soft thump. The centaur quickly turned around. "Hello?"

Caleb froze hoping that she wouldn't find him, but she went straight for his hiding place.

The centaur peered around the tree looking at him sideways. "Hi! Why are you hiding?"

"I, I did not want to disturb you," Caleb said weakly. He couldn't think of a better excuse.

"You're not disturbing me at all. I mean except for maybe your smell," the centaur said.

Caleb retreated back a little more. "My smell?"

The centaur nodded. "Yeah. You're super stinky. You should take a bath. I can give you one."

"What?" Caleb could feel his face growing hot. "I don't even know you."

"I'm Jester," she said sweetly little fangs poking out of her mouth.

He eyed her and then swallowed. "Caleb Widogast."

"It's nice to meet you Caleb!" Jester grinned down at him. She was a few inches taller than him, but he had a feeling that if it weren't for her horse half, she'd be shorter than him. Closer up she was quite pretty with her spattering of blue freckles on her round cheeks.

"A pleasure," Caleb said. "I'll get out of your hair." He turned around, but it was too quick and he found himself growing lightheaded and tripped.

Jester gasped and caught him. "Caleb! Are you okay?"

Caleb nodded and regretted it quickly, his head swimming. "Ja, I'm fine. I just get the occasional dizzy spell." A symptom of malnutrition, he knew, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Oh, if you say so," Jester said with the hint of a frown. She picked him up like he weighed nothing and straightened him out. "Caleb! You weigh nothing! You're so skinny."

He tried to brush off her concern hoping she didn't notice how obvious his ribs were. "Well, I'm not part horse," Caleb said hoping that was enough to put her at ease.

Jester pursed her lips and pouted at him as she set him down. "If you say so." But she didn't sound entirely convinced. "You should eat something."

"I had an apple," Caleb said gesturing to the apple core on the ground.

"Cay-leb," Jester said, dragging out each syllable. "You can't just eat apples. Let me make you something."

Caleb took a step back. This could easily be a trap. "Nein, I am alright." His stomach chose that moment to let out a loud growl.

"Of course you are," Jester said with a giggle. "I have more than I can eat here and I don't want it to go bad. There's bread and everything."

Saliva filled his mouth and Caleb had to quickly swallow it. "I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality."

Jester shook her head. "It's no bother at all. And you can pay me back by helping pick apples by getting the high up ones. You can climb trees, right?"

"Ja," Caleb said slowly. "But isn't there a village nearby? Surely you could hire someone from there."

"Oh, yeah." Jester's face fell. "I kinda have to hide from them. Centaurs technically don't exist, so I'm not supposed to show myself or cause trouble there." A loneliness almost familiar to Caleb hung from her words. "But you already know about me, so I don't have to hide from you or anything."

He nodded. "That is true."

Jester clapped her hands. "Right!"

"I suppose I don't have to go yet. I'll help you with your trees." There weren't many trees, so it would probably only take a few days, a week, maybe a week and a half, at most. And in the meanwhile, Caleb could get a few more meals under his belt. And after that he could go. But a quick bite for now wouldn't hurt.

* * *

_Twenty years later_

Nott's stomach growled at her in protest. Somehow she'd managed to get hopelessly lost in the forest. She should've taken her chances in the town, but if she'd been caught, her chances of survival as a lone goblin were practically nonexistant. So now she was hopelessly lost and starving.

The trees cleared a little and Nott found herself in a modest little apple orchard. An apple fell on her head. “AAAAAHHHHH!!!” she screamed

“You were supposed to catch that,” a masculine voice said above her. It was accented like its owner came from the north. Nott looked up to see a human man sitting in the tree. "Here, try again." He dropped an apple and Nott managed to catch it.

"Thank you," Nott said quickly before gobbling down her apple.

The man climbed down the tree with a groan. "I'm getting too old for this." He was middle aged with graying auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. His height was average and his build the chubby side of average. "Are you a traveler?"

Nott nodded, eyeing him carefully. He didn't seem to mind that she was a goblin, but trust was not something she could give easily.

"I lived that life once. Not the easiest of lives. I'll pack you something for the road," he said.

"You don't have to," she said nervously. It could easily be poisoned.

The man looked her over and shook his head. "My wife wouldn't let me hear the end of it if she knew I sent you away with nothing. There's more than we can eat here and we don't want it going bad."

"Well, I guess I can lighten your load a little," Nott said.

He smiled. "Wait here." The man started to walk away when a call stopped him.

"Da!!!" The sound of hooves followed and a centaur ran up to him. The centaur held a large basket of apples in his arms with a giant grin on his face. He looked to be around ten and was a stocky and sturdy boy. Bright auburn bangs hung in his blue face and he had to blow at them to get them out of his way. "We finished our tree already! And it's not even lunch yet."

A second centaur, this one a little older than the first, joined them. His hair was done in a purple mohawk and the barest hints of peach fuzz dusted his cheeks. Two bushels of apples were hooked to his horse back in addition to the basket he carried. "Una and Harley are nearly done too." He looked over at Nott. "Who's your new friend, Da?"

Nott stared at the centaurs not believing her eyes. She must've been delirious with hunger.

"Well, the cat's out of the bag, I suppose," the man said. "These are my sons Oskar and Alby. And I am Caleb. Caleb Lavorre."

"Nott the Brave," she managed to get out still staring at the boys.

Caleb nodded. "Ja, it can be a lot to take in. Since you already know our secret, you might as well join us for lunch."

"Mama's making stew!" Oskar said excitedly and Alby nodded behind him.

"I need to get go-" Nott started to say, but her stomach interrupted her with a loud gurgle. "I suppose a quick bite won't hurt."

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I had to fit my Widojest kids in here. I just have too much fun with them.


End file.
